Milliseconds after hearing those memorable words,
“Honey, you’re going to be a father”, you may have felt a strange sinking feeling. You may have detected a slight wobble in your balance. Don’t worry. It wasn’t a disruption in the Force. What you experienced was your gut relaxing out and down, sensing that its days of being worked out (or sucked in) were finally at an end.
After all, flat stomachs are for those young bucks who are still trying to mimic the Darwinian feat you’ve just accomplished. “We’ve been through a lot, you and I”, you may whisper, stroking your trusty tum amidst a mental montage of sit-ups, pies, pints and belly-button biscuit crumbs.
These gut feelings are understandable, but a ‘sympathetic pregnancy’ paunch is not.
Why do men feel that it’s ok to let go when their partner is prego? In parts, it’s unconscious conditioning and our perception of what is normal. It’s about what you’re exposed to when you’re young. Ever wondered why all of the stories your Dad told you, when you were lying in his bed as a kid, involved someone walking up a hill? It was probably because he didn’t know his BMI from his IBM. He certainly hadn’t encountered ‘The Buff Dad Workout’.
Created by American Mike Levinson R.D. (which, alas, stands for ‘Registered Dietician’, not ‘Real Dad’), this fitness and diet regime is tailor made to ensure that you have less blubber than your new bubba. Although ‘The Buff Dad Workout’ is designed as a four-week routine of good eating and exercise, in on-again-off-again ‘man-time’ that means you should finally complete the program just before you’re called into action. It’s very masculine as you’d expect and consequently it’s all about dumbbells, big balls and Atlas-esque squats. And it’s only available in old, dependable book form. Very solid. Very ‘Dad’.
You can start ‘The Buff Dad Workout’ in pre-season, so to speak, and keep it going once you’re match fit and in the game. Why not include your new arrival in the routine – as a replacement for your weights? A great way to spend some quality time while setting a good example for the next generation. Similar sentiments are at the foundation of ‘Catflexing’, which sees a feline companion take the role of dumbbell/baby. This form, however, is less humane – as during the first few months of a child’s life the cat is actually the more intelligent life form.
So that’s ‘The Buff Dad Workout’. But will you need it?
You will if you want to:
- Carry that ‘compact’ nappy-bag which, once it’s full, wouldn’t get past an airport check-in desk.
- Make it to 100 in the ‘Daddy-I-want-to-touch-the-ceiling-again’ game.
…And most importantly…
- Have the stamina to keep rocking little Junior in your arms for just that little bit longer, so you know that they’re actually asleep. This time.